Swimming Tips

This is exactly what I look like when I swim

Source: dustjacketattic.blogspot.com via Frances on Pinterest

A few months ago I foolishly agreed to go swimming with mum a few times a week. This means getting up at 6 two or three times a week and stumbling about like a drunk. 

Here is what I've learned:

Don’t assess your leg stubble at 6am when you have no glasses on. You can’t see, but this doesn’t mean no one else can. 

Sometimes the water is so cold that you actually have to swim. This morning I was hoping to float a bit and try not to drown from falling asleep, but the water was so cold I was forced to swim properly. 

Boobs make you surprisingly buoyant. I can’t swim along the bottom anymore because my boobs mean I float back to the surface. :(

No, I don’t know how that old man can swim so fast on his side. Is swimming on your side even a thing?

Always lie about how many lengths you’ve done. I usually add about 5 to the final total.