5 things I've learned from Josephine Tey (at least the fictional version of her as portrayed in the novels of Nicola Upson)

I’ve been reading, well, listening to, Nicola Upson’s wonderful Josephine Tey novels and I am addicted to them. Josephine Tey was the pen name of Elizabeth Mackintosh, a celebrated mystery writer and novelist during the 1930s and 40s, and Nicola Upson has turned her into the main character of her own series of detective novels. I have described that really badly, all you need to know is that these books are really awesome and Josephine Tey was a real person. 

see? real person!

Here are a few things Josephine Tey* has made me realise:

1. I need to make friends with a detective inspector, preferably one who clearly harbours romantic feelings for me and takes me on holiday with him but never makes me feel guilty or uncomfortable. Archie Penrose is Josephine Tey’s detective best friend and he is the BEST, better even than Jack in Miss Fisher! Archie is a highly intelligent and competent police officer blah blah but he is also an emotionally sensitive and all round awesome human being. He drops everything so see Josephine every time she rings him up and he is incredibly liberal and enlightened for a 1930s man, let alone a 1930s detective inspector. His friends are all actors and writers and nearly all gay women.
2. I need more names. Josephine Tey is actually one of two pen names used by the real-life Elizabeth Mackintosh. Josephine Tey was the name she used for her detective novels and she wrote her plays under the name Gordon Daviet. I think I need some more names pretty urgently… I also need to do something that requires me to have so many names. It might be time for me to start writing Mills and Boon under a ridiculous name like Saskia Montgomery.
3. I need to be a member of a London club. Josephine lives in Inverness most of the time but she regularly comes to London to visit her friends or oversee a play and always stays in her London club. I thought that London clubs were only for men in costume dramas! I didn’t know there had ever been clubs like that that women joined. How wonderful would it be to have a club like that where you could stay whenever you fancied, get a nice meal and have a chat with other awesome women? It would be the perfect mix of staying with friends AND disappearing off alone.
4. I need one of my godmothers to leave me a cottage so I can do it up and have a gorgeous rural escape. This is extremely unlikely to happen as my godmothers both have about million people to leave their houses to before me, 
5. I need to go on more holidays. Josephine is always off to Cornwall or Port Merion or simply staying in London for a few weeks at a time. I haven't been away since I went to Edinburgh last December.

**or at least Nicola Upson's version of her

I am not dead...

*knocks on all the wood*

Instead I am here:

In what I call my NaNoWriNe(st) because I am attempting NaNoWriMo again and this time it’s going quite well *knocks on wood again*.

Soon I will blog about CAITLIN DAY (a month after it happened) and the twittershitstorm from HELL that happened just after the glorious day.

Caitlin Moran LOVES ME 

And about going on the Harry Potter Studio Tour

Yes, I am knocking on the door of Number Four Privet Drive 

and yes, I am wearing a cape. 

Until then I’m going back to the extremely trashy romance novel I'm writing and I’ll leave you with this because it's Joni Mitchell’s birthday:

My favourite (at the moment) and a song that makes me cry every time I hear it (in a good way)

Here are some gifs about Obama winning ! and then me remembering that we still have that shiny chode as a prime minister... 

Happy Barbra Day

Today was just a normal bank holiday - too many people in the house, no proper plans, we've all eaten too much chocolate and the weather is too grim. I was feeling like a bored and sulky teenager until I saw that a GENIUS at the BBC decided to show Funny Girl followed by The Way We Were! I rechristened today Barbra Streisand Day and there was much rejoicing! 

I urge you to go and watch some Barbra films and worship her as well. 

The trailer for Funny Girl:

The trailer for The Way We Were:

Deleted scenes from The Way We Were (scenes that make the film make sense):

p.s.If you are in the UK you can watch Funny Girl on iplayer here

Autumn

In honour of my favourite season I have just hennaed all the mousey brown out of my hair so that it resembles the auburn beauty of an autumn leaf...or as my brother put it “Oh my god! You’re SO GINGER!”

Seriously though, autumn rocks. I still feel that weird bubbly excitement and anticipation as the weather turns from frivolous summer to serious autumn. The anticipation that only grows as it gets cooler and closer to....christmas! And there’s that special smell to the cold air at night, the smell of excitement and every Halloween, bonfire night and Christmas Eve rolled into one. My mum thinks the smell is some kind of primal thing to warn us that the weather is going to get serious soon so we best get ourselves sorted.

Autumn is clearly the best season here; our summers are always disappointing and winter isn’t very dramatic. With Autumn, on the other hand, you can’t be disappointed.  You expect a chill in the air and rain and when you get them it’s just an excuse to wear a scarf and keep cosy, but if it’s sunny then it feels like a love treat. The colours of autumn are so beautiful, even the light seems to have a special golden quality.

Autumn wants you to spend Sunday afternoons snuggled up with a cat and a costume drama. It’s the time to stop faffing around outside and get started on all the exciting things indoors.

Having said that, is there much better than having a lovely walk in the sunshine, on a cool day, so that your cheeks get pleasantly rosy, and then arriving at a country pub to sit in front of a fire and await the arrival of a giant dinner?

Here's a little autumn playlist to get you feeling nice and autumny. 

clearly the best thing

ELSA IN ENGLISH!

I just found out that Elsa Billgren is doing videos for monki tv IN ENGLISH

I completely freaked out.

on Monki.

On a happier note...

So yesterday I posted the most depressing song about moving in with someone and getting married, sorry about that. Here's the song I listen to when I need a bit of optimism in my day: