(Gemma Correll via: to dry for)

The Royal Wedding is tomorrow and I have a battle raging in my head. 

There are three different armies:

Republican (not in the bonkers american way! but in the anti-monarchy way)

I LOVE ALLL WEDDDINGS!

I love Prince William! I should be marrying him! I am going to stick pictures of him on my desk! (ie. 13 year old me) 

I realise that you (Laura, my only reader, I am looking at YOU) may be vomiting violently at the third thing on that list. 

I am not into the nauseating worship of the royal family, and I refuse to go along with the lie that they are better than me because of the womb they were grown in. I think that being royal is bloody awful. Even if you rejected royal life, and tried to live as an ordinary member of society, you would still be hounded. The attention that Diana received, and the bizarre obsession Princess Diana inspired in the tabloid press, was what killed her. 

Monarchy can only be acceptable if you believe the most important aspects of your identity and your potential as a human being a set at birth. That it matters more where you came from than where you could end up. As Johann Hari said in his amazing podcast (that you should listen to), we live in a country where no ordinary child can grow up with the dream of one day being the head of state. No matter how hard they work or the amazing things that they achieve, the "top job" will always be out of reach. In real life (as opposed to crazy royal land) it is regarded as discrimination to judge someone on the basis of their race, class, or gender (should add that a male heir would STILL succeed to the throne over their elder sister), so why do we let these things dictate who should be the figurehead for the country?

However, I have always had a soft spot for William - he seems like a good egg (as Mum says) and William and Kate have a genuinely normal relationship (light years away from Charles and Diana's). The romantic in me just wants to see a happy couple say those vows and see the looks on their faces - I don't really care who they are! I don't have bunting and I'm not going to put on a special outfit and toast the happy couple through the telly, I am just going to have a good old nose. 

oops

It's 5.56 and I am still awake...
The light is really beautiful at the time, the pale sunlight compliments my wimpy overhead light. Alas, my camera is downstairs and not at all good enough for the light to take centre stage in a picture.

Apparently I'm not going to sleep...

Last night I dreamt that I owed the bank hundreds of pounds, it was so vivid and awful that I am almost too scared to sleep! WHAT! Even writing that now I can see how crazy I sound!

Here are a few things that are on my mind at the moment:

1. This is sadly true

2. Seven-year-old Frances would be very proud of my purple bedroom.

3. I like my peppermint nails, even if the colour is sooo last year

4. I want some honey

5. And a cup of tea

6. I love Spiral. I wish I had learned French so that I could look away during the gross bits. Someone keeps being called Tintin! this makes me happy but I still haven't worked out which one Tintin is yet...

7. I need to write some proper blog posts.

8. I need to realise that everything I feel restricted by is mental, I can break out and I can fully become myself. 

9. Mike shot Paul Young?

10. Will Dad go to work tomorrow? Or will he TORTURE me by being at home alll day?

"The ultimate wet dream, Kirsty and Billy duet A New England."

(or so reads the youtube caption for this)

MAGIC

I love musicals

If you don't, you need a new soul/a soul at all and to get over yourself.

(same goes for ABBA)

oh

So wills don't find cockfosters funny! I read advocate I have melted into a racist!

ahhh

I don't find cockfosters funny! I think I will stab you

tee hee

I would but u want fascist hens! 

the big question

Why do I have a boyfriend who doesn't get Jane Austen?

How did I let this happen?

That can be my next tweet

I am addicted to yes that can be my next tweet which generates tweets by mashing up previous tweets. I have to stop posting them on twitter because I look insane! SO here are some of the tweets it generated for me:


the post abolished by government are breasts.can we had a pop tart! Are they nice?


We are scum tories are a pop tart! — Gosh Tories try to get this afternoon! Does a spiced shepherd's pie!


Gosh Tories try to eat a pop tart!


HAHA! @SarahKSilverman: TAMPON. Need to get this hen house and they were estranged!


Of course! well of course YOU would have melted into action! I'll help! can make people think advocaat?


I wanted! Not boys. did you yawningly go ahead? of course YOU would but u want to buy my religion!


Poor Kurt! I think it sniff Re-organising my bra all day! This is Mormonism. hahahahaha seriously scary.


I had my brother by wearing too much red food colouring you like a pop tart!

WTF

I saw this No to AV video earlier this evening:

I was almost sure it was a spoof!

This video tries to convince us to vote against AV by showing us the terrible coalition government we would end up with if we changed the voting system:
"The really great thing about a fudged coalition is that neither of us need to carry out a single promise of our election manifestos!"
"Of course the best thing about AV is never having to say we're sorry or to pretend that we care"

This is the government we have at the moment! Who are they trying to kid?!

Flapjacks

I haven't had a flapjack in 4 days. 

s'wonderful

Shhh

Is there an operation I can have to silence the cruel, doubting voice in my head?
It seems to be getting louder and louder.

When I was younger I would do things that terrified me - even if I thought I might mess up. I didn't let my fear of failure stop me doing something I really wanted. I would sign up for things that scared me before I could talk myself out of it. Not that I ever did anything crazily brave, but I did things that challenged me: doing a drama GCSE, attempting A-Level French, taking the plunge and doing a combined Philosophy degree (although I did decide to drop the philosophy later). These are not exactly ground-breakingly thrilling but the point is: I knew that these things would be hard for me but I wanted to do them so I had a go anyway.

This has come to an end. Something has happened to make me retreat into myself and now I am governed by the Evil Voice. The Evil Voice is the overly critical voice that we all have* in the back of our minds that tells us we fail and that we are hopeless and worthless. My evil seems to be growing in confidence and leeching my confidence away - kind of Ginny Weasley/ Tom Riddle style. The Evil voice has completely taken over and I can no longer see past the negative. I can't see any positive traits in myself and I can't see very much that is good about my life. I know that there are people with bigger problems and whose lives are full of tragedy - but that doesn't mean that I'm not miserable. Your unhappiness doesn't just go away because someone else is less happy, and being unhappy yourself doesn't mean that you are incapable of sympathy.

How do I banish the Evil Voice?

* I assume we all have this voice...

species re-alignment surgery

In my next life I would like to be a domestic cat. 

I must not give in to panic

My Hat

my wonderful bobble hat!

Apologies for looking dead in these pictures...

Blog blog blog

I will be moving some of my posts across to blogspot but you can still visit my old blog here:

 

I got this book a couple of months ago when I had an amazon gift card windfall. So far I have knitted a couple of things from it, including an amazing woolly hat that my boyfriend laughs at   and tries to discourage me from wearing in public (- this only proves how fabulous it is!)

As you can see from the cover, Knitty Gritty is intended for absolute beginners and it does give instructions on how to knit, cast on, cast off and advice about equipment. There are also a lot of patterns for people who are knitting their first projects, as well as step-by-step guides to help you master more complicated techniques, such as cable stitches. As with most knitting books, there are a few slightly strange projects (knitted tie anyone?) but on the whole the items in this book are pretty wearable and include items for babies as well as lace-effect shawls and knitted cushion covers. 

This book is a really good buy for someone who has very basic knitting skills but has never made anything more complicated than a scarf.  I wouldn't suggest trying to learn how to knit using just this book as it is really hard to work out without watching knitting. If you don't know anyone who can teach you, try using YouTube videos, there are a zillion "how to knit" videos and it is so much easier to learn by watching than following written instructions. 

If you are lucky, I may even post some pictures of me modelling my wonderful hat. It makes me look a tad like a trainspotter... 

This is what happens when you organise your books by colour. I like it.